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I knew this was going to be a good Christmas when while holding my five month old daughter about a week and a half ago standing in our living room watching the last fifteen minutes of “It’s a Wonderful Life,” I wept quietly to myself in one of those rare moments where suddenly I got it. I’ve seen the movie probably forty times, and wept on and off here and there in my years of viewing, but this time the feeling was totally different.  I suddenly understood why George Bailey was so excited to be home. Why he was so happy that he might be going to jail.  So in love with life that he kissed that old loose newel post.  I understood what he felt not because I’ve been so low that I needed a quirky angel without wings to come help me out–although help like that is always most welcome–but that I’ve been the stressed George Bailey just after he lost his $8000 dollars, worried about what he will do to take care of his family.  This year has been the fastest of my life, and my three months without a job frustrated me in a way I don’t think I’ve ever been before.

Having a child has opened up a new part of my soul that before she was here I didn’t know existed. Watching her grow and looking into those big blue eyes is something I highly recommend. This year has made me realize how blessed my little family is.  The love we have from parents and grandparents is truly staggering, and our ability to make it in Austin is due in no $mall part to their help.  Thank you!

The daughter’s first Christmas was a magical one, but a strangely one sided affair.  She is five months old and still not quite aware of what is happening.  Of course the presents are for her.  Of course we give so that she might have toys that engage and teach her new motor and empathy skills.  But the actual event of Christmas morning was for our–the parents and grandparents–benefit.  We were the ones oohing and ahhing over the new presents we opened for her. I find this funny because we were the ones that bought them, but our excitement in turn gets her excited, and that is why it was so much fun. This is the first Christmas that was not about us. At least that’s what we tried to do, but I know our ooing and ahhing was as much for us as it was for her. But not in a selfish way.  It helped us to realize that giving is always more fun than getting, even if at the end of the day the baby is more interested in the shiny paper the gift comes in than what is wrapped underneath it.

”No man is a failure who has friends.”

There are hundreds of Christmas tunes out there I love, and only a few of them really get me into the spirit of the season. I could listen to Perry Como and Bing Crosby all day, and Sufjan Stevens ‘Songs For Christmas’ is a set everyone would do well to own.  But the single tune that really fires up my yule fuel is this one, and it’s not even a Christmas tune per se, but a fine jazz piece:

I love it. Vince Guaraldi trio plus Peanuts equals Grubbs Christmas joy.

You may now put up your tree.

This year is going by so quickly. We’re already just under 3 months from being in Austin for a year. Two things have contributed to the speedy passage of time. Not having a job for three months is one of them. You’d think that would have made time pass slowly, but it’s amazing how quickly days pass into each other when you have nothing to do. Second, and more important, was the birth of our first child. Man she eats up the time, and wonderfully so. I’m amazed at how when I get home, the other stuff I think I need to do just disappears because I simply want to hold her and just look at her. That other stuff eventually gets done. Bills get paid and writing happens, but if I don’t enjoy her while she’s tiny, I’ll never get these moments back.

We drove to Alabama to be with my Father’s side of the family for Thanksgiving. 33 total hours in the car what with stopping to feed the baby, and eat lunch. I enjoyed the drive spending time with my brother, whom we met to make the journey together. This Thanksgiving was most special because we were bringing our daughter to meet that side of the family for the first time, and it was the first time that entire side of the family had gathered completely–no one missing–in about four or five years. We took lots of pictures, and it’s great to have some 4 generation photographs. These times are fleeting, and the emotions of the moment were simultaneously joyful and somehow maudlin and wistful. The encouraging thing is how wonderful I realized my family is. Over the years we’ve all gotten along spectacularly, and I attribute it to the loving example of my wonderful grandparents.

My mother’s father was also able to stop by on Friday, giving us the chance to see a little bit of both sides of the family.

I’ve got a lot to be thankful for.

I got tired of my old, weepy headers. Let me know what you think of the new treatment up top! Is it too futuristic? I just wanted to spruce up the site a bit, and decided to do something a little different.

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1. Stardust - :30 TV Spot
2. The Good Shepherd - Concept TV Spot
3. You, Me & Dupree - Review TV Spot
4. Charlotte’s Web - European Trailer
5. Things We Lost in the Fire - :30 TV Spot
6. The Manchurian Candidate - TV Spot

Email: jonathan (at) jonathangrubbs.com

I submitted a short story of mine to a fiction contest over at Narrative Magazine.  It’s a great e-zine filled with fantastic fiction and poetry, and, best of all, it’s free. You should definitely check it out. It’s a free sign up and you can access their archive of great fiction. I’m feeling confident about it, though even after submitting it I’ve found areas for improvement.  And so it goes with one’s art.  It’s never good enough, but I’ve released it to a small part of the world hoping it will be received in good graces.

The recent announcement from Polaroid they will soon cease production on their instant films has me nostalgic for the look. Remember the sound the camera made as it spit out a square of white plastic?

Remember shaking the snapshot while you waited for it to develop?  Remember how everything was tinged a little brown?  I’ve recently discovered this great little app called Poladroid for Mac.  It takes your photos and converts them into old looking Polaroids, as I’ve done below.

Click on them for larger versions.

In another attempt to feel nostalgic, I have also been using film a little bit more than most. I’ve rediscovered the joy of thinking about a photograph before I snap the shutter.  I’ve also discovered my love for the program Aperture. I spend all day with Photoshop, and I’ve gotten a little burnt on the over-production done on most all images these days.  I remember the hours I spent in high school and college slaving in the pitch black of the darkroom developing film and printing with an old style enlarger.  It was fantastic. The thrill of seeing a latent image emerge in the swirling waters of the developer bin was amazing, and is one of the art forms that will soon only be practiced by nostalgic artisans.  I myself have stopped for monetary and time reasons; it’s expensive to maintain a darkroom full of chemicals and washes.  Plus, you have to dedicate an entire room of your house to the pursuit, and I don’t have that kind of space right now.  What I love about Aperture is its limits.  For the most part you can only retouch digital images the way you can in a dark room.  Saturation, color, vignetting, cropping, exposure, etc.  This forces you to actually think about how best to work with flawed images to best present them, rather than simply snapping away and retouching it to death.  I love it.  I’ll use Photoshop for intensive graphics work and web design, but when it comes to simple photography, Aperture is now my application of choice. It is what I used to touchup all but four or five of the images in my photo gallery.

I’ve also been watching the HBO Miniseries “John Adams.”  Amazing. Paul Giamatti is one of my favorite actors, and I love watching him play Mr. Adams as he ages. I read the McCullough book a couple of years ago, and they have done a wonderful job of bringing it to the screen. Everyone would do well to learn from the struggle these men undertook to begin the work of our nation that continues to today. Watching the show reminds me that the greatness of the United States comes from the struggle itself and not the sudden notion that we’ve arrived.  The striving is what makes our nation strong, and flawed as we are, we continue to press forward. Look at what happened this election.  The struggle of great Americans paved the road Barack Obama can now drive freely over.

The late 18th century has always fascinated me, and I have a great idea for a story set in this time period.  It needs serious fleshing out, but I feel it has merit and is worth pursuing.  Too often this period in America is only viewed through the context of the birth of the United States, and we often forget about the other things that were happening simultaneously.

Finally, here is a great little video I came across a few weeks ago.  It has nothing to do with anything I’ve mentioned above, but it makes me smile and I hope it makes you smile, too.

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